What is so great about sex?

Good morning lovely precious souls of the Goddess blog and welcome to another Monday and another post by your favorite blog writer! Today I will be sharing my insight about the eternal question - why oh why is sex so great? Stick around for today’s post as it is going to get your blood pumping - and as always, remember to get this Goddess some cups of coffee!

What's the difference between average sex and good sex? Well.. it's mostly a mental game. Without any further ado, here are 5 reasons that the Goddess thinks is the very special thing about great sex.

Great sex is about letting go of control

Earlier in my days, all I could think about while having sex was something like - Am I doing this right? Does my body look sexy in this position? What was that weird noise we just made? I was so very much in my head and judging myself, and judging my partner and trying to figure out what the heck was going on.

The problem was that I believed being a great lover was about knowing all the “tips, tricks, and positions,” but I realize now it’s about a lot more.

Great sex is a sensual experience

It’s common for people to see sex as a performance — something they need to get just right, rather than as a sensual experience.

Pleasure’s not a mechanical thing. Pleasure has to include things like communication and relaxation, trust, eye contact… sort of relating [to each other], and tuning into something more personal than what we’re supposed to be doing.

Many couples are fixated on orgasm — both their own and their partner’s — as an end point. Orgasm is important, but we shouldn’t be overly focused on it. I want to deconstruct orgasms as a single event that we’re working toward and open it more up to a context of orgasmic pleasure rather than this one goal.

Instead of focusing on sex as a performance, I recommend looking at it as playful.

How turned on can you get without moving straight to the genitals? Can you explore together in a way where you are highly aroused?

Great sex is about connection

From BDSM classes, to orgasmic mediation sessions, I found out a lot about myself through exploration.

I like to be in control, I was kind of a control freak, and I didn’t know how to give up control when it came to sex and dating.

After having sex with one of my ex-boyfriends a couple of years ago, I talked to him about my insecurities. It required me to open myself up to vulnerability, which I’d never done before.

If you’re in your head and you’re not connecting with your partner, even the right moves are not going to allow your body to relax, and you’re going to experience the most pleasure when your body is relaxed.

The relationship lasted only a few months, but the relationship taught me a lot about the importance of vulnerability and communication.

It’s a constant battle for me to be more vulnerable, but I’m definitely doing it more than I used to and I think the easiest way to be more vulnerable is through honest communication.

Great sex is about you loving your body

How you feel about your body makes a big difference when it comes to allowing yourself to be vulnerable with sexual partners.

If you struggle with body confidence, I recommend an exercise by Drs. Eric Stice and Carolyn Becker called “The Body Project.”

Every day, stand in front of a mirror naked, or as close to naked as you can tolerate, and write down everything you like about what you see.

If it is your eyebrows, write that down. If it is your wrists, write that down. If it is the spirit in your eyes, write that down.

It may be strange at first, but over time, it will help you notice all the beautiful things about your body.

What happens is you teach your brain to notice how beautiful your body already is, which helps to immunize you against all the cultural messages that tell you your body is supposed to be different.

Great sex is about exploring new things (a “yes, no, maybe” list can help)

Do you want to try new sexual experiences with your partner, but don’t know how to tell them? Maybe you’re afraid they’ll judge you, or it’s just too awkward. If that’s the case, I recommend doing a yes,no,maybe list.

The list contains bedroom activities you might be interested in trying together. Both you and your partner will check what you are definitely willing to try, what you might be willing to try, and anything you definitely are not willing to try. When you’re done filling it out, you can exchange lists and see what you are both interested in.

The list will allow you to explore new possibilities together while maintaining boundaries.

It’s a starting point for a conversation!

That is it for today’s post guys! Hope you loved the read!

Goddess wishes you all happy endeavours in the week ahead,

xxxxxx