Virtual sex tips and tricks
Good morning lovely readers of the Goddess Blog and welcome to the last blog post for this week with your one and only Goddess! For today, I will be sharing the know-how when it comes to virtual sex, a very fun and entertaining way to stimulate sex made popular especially in the COVID era - or when your beau is just not in your vicinity :)) So read up, enjoy the content - and be sure to drop in some lovely cups of coffee for your Goddess!
If an article with virtual sex tips had existed when I first started using my cam in sexting, my first night online would have been more comfortable and a bigger success. Now that I know a thing or two about online intimacy, I know it's possible to stay safe during virtual sex—and have fun too. I’d spent hours trying to make sure everything was just right—styling my hair, caking on makeup, and scanning my body to ensure I was smoothly shaved and moisturized. This was the kind of primping I’d never do on a regular basis, and I didn’t feel like myself. I slipped into some skimpy lingerie as the tiny blue dot that indicated my camera (or my phone’s shitty camera) was live blinked at the top of my laptop.
Over time, I realized that authenticity is a key aspect of sex, even when it occurs online. I stopped dressing up as someone else on camera and started to enjoy using this medium to share my own sexuality more organically with others.
Countless couples have pursued sexual relationships from a distance before now, but during the coronavirus pandemic, even more people are giving it a go. Turning to virtual platforms can help keep a sexual spark alive, but these encounters are sometimes awkward or feel risky. To help you out, I pulled from my own experiences for virtual sex tips that can help everyone involved have an excellent time.
1. Make Sure You Feel Okay
Before embarking on your virtual sex adventure, you should feel comfortable having these kinds of interactions with the person in question. I recommend asking yourself a few key questions before giving virtual intimacy a try:
How much do I trust this partner?
Where has this relationship been before this time of separation?
Has this partner ever betrayed my trust?
How much risk am I willing to tolerate to pursue this?
If you have a partner who has made you uncomfortable in the past, this is not someone who will respect your boundaries now. Whoever you’re having virtual sex with needs to stick to every boundary you put in place to keep yourself safe. That should be non-negotiable.
2. Wants And Needs
If you’re engaging in virtual intimacy for the first time with someone, it’s good to discuss everyone’s wants and needs, safety precautions, fears and anxieties, and what ground rules you’d like to set. Honestly, it’s good to talk about all of this continually on an as-needed basis even if you have already had virtual sex with this person. These discussions should be treated as just another healthy conversation about any sexual act,.
Questions to explore include:
Do we both (or all) definitely want to do this?
What kinds of interactions and platforms are we each comfortable with?
Should we leave our faces out of the frame as a rule?
Should we delete intimate photos or videos after use or if we end our relationship?
Each person involved might have a different perspective on these questions, so it’s important to find common ground before getting down to business. And yes, it might feel totally awkward to do this, especially if you’re not in a relationship with the person you want to have virtual sex with. Maybe you’re on a surprisingly great FaceTime date with someone you recently started talking to from an app, for example, and things are getting progressively hotter. Just like it would be important to press pause in real life to have a safe-sex talk even in the heat of the moment with someone new, it’s important to set some boundaries before having virtual sex.
You should never feel pressured or reluctant before having virtual sex, and saying yes to any kind of sexual activity at one point doesn’t mean you or your partner is required to follow through if someone changes their mind. Ladies, if someone is pressuring you to send more than you’re comfortable with, they don’t deserve your nudes. Simple as that!
3. Trustworthy Platforms
This is one of the most important virtual sex tips to follow. It’s nearly impossible for the average person to tell when a third party is intercepting or eavesdropping on their digital activity. Hackers could leak your sensitive photos, videos, and texts or watch what’s happening on your webcam or even phonecam. Even someone you consent to have virtual sex with could violate your trust by showing what you share with them to others. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have virtual sex if you feel comfortable with it, but it’s a good idea to take some steps to protect your digital privacy.
First, even though there is no perfect way to ensure your data will be secure, do your best to find a trustworthy platform. You should research platforms and apps before you try them, searching for options that have “end-to-end” or “person-to-person” encryption, which essentially means anyone intercepting the message won’t be able to see it. Encrypted apps like Signal are best to use for this kind of encounter.
With all of this in mind, texting is often a better option than online tools like Facebook messenger, Snapchat, and Zoom—as long as you disable features that automatically store all of your texts to the Cloud or anywhere else that could be prone to hacking. Also, make sure you use a strong password and two-factor authentication for any apps to help prevent other people from accessing your sexual photos and videos.
4. Get Artsy
A €15 desk lamp pointed from behind the camera often acts as my spotlight. I also stack my computer on an old hamper to achieve the views I want for a video. Use props and makeshift scaffolding at your discretion to play with angles and scenes that make you feel proud, sexy, and powerful—or stick with simpler framing to create a more natural interaction. Wear what makes you feel confident, whether it’s a baggy tee, lingerie, or nothing at all. Personally, clothes don’t really affect my perception of myself. Instead, I feel good when I lock eyes with the camera, bite my lip, and get flirty. Trying different positions on camera introduced me to new sides of myself, and now I feel more confident in person too. You and your partner can even swap control over how the other displays themselves as long as everyone consents.
From a safety perspective, make sure there’s nothing in the background that could give away your location, like a street sign you can see through a window. Even if you totally trust the person you’re sending this content to, knowing your photos or videos don’t include hints about where you are can give you some peace of mind if someone did manage to hack your content. One easy way to do this is to opt for lighting that showcases what you want to focus on and let the rest fade into darkness.
5. Start Slow
It’s okay if you don’t want to bare it all or try something kinky on camera. Remember to continue talking about your needs as a couple, note how your interests shift, and adapt accordingly. Over time, you might want to dive in deeper or need to take a break from these kinds of interactions. Comfort levels change, and that’s perfectly fine.
6. Use Words
Tell your partner what you miss or crave and what you hope you’ll do together when you’re able to see each other in person. Are you missing their scent? The look on their face during an orgasm? The warmth of their touch or kisses? Using your own authentic voice to describe your desires will feel more familiar and natural than trying too hard to come up with sexy language that just isn’t yours.
7. Girls, Play With Toys
There really is something for everyone. Vibrators, dildos, ticklers, and other toys abound. Or you could try household staples like ice cubes, a wooden spoon, candle wax, fruit, and more. (Just make sure you're careful about what you're putting inside your body and avoid things that could cause irritation or injury, like certain foods.) Something extra special during quarantine could include splurging on a couples sex toy that allows partners to control each other’s pleasure with an app or remote. Whether you show each other your experiences on camera, share them on a phone call, or even keep them to yourself, these playful objects can make your self-exploration more enjoyable.
8. Be Yourself
I truly believe that affirmation and authenticity are the most important aspects of these vulnerable experiences. Encourage your partner to do what feels genuine, too, and it’s okay if your interests don’t align all the time. Remember to have fun, and most of all, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We’re all dealing with enough of that already.
That is itttt for this week’s last blog piece from the Goddess!
I really hope you enjoyed the read guys and gals and are ready to try out some virtual sex if you havent tried it so far! :)
Goddess loves you all and I wish you all a wonderful weekend ahead,
Catch you all on Monday! xx
