A guide to swinging

Goooooooood morning lovely readers of the Goddess Blog and welcome to another Saturday in the company of your favorite Goddess, I have been away for the past week or so as I have been quite busy with a winner from the Blogiversary Challenge, but I am back to doing what I love the most - blogging of course - and for today I have prepared a guide for you guys on the subject of swinging!

You may think that swinging simply means you can have your cake - and eat it too. But there is more to it than just having other sexual partners. A swinging relationship needs to have an even greater level of respect, trust and attention to one's partner in order to have it work out positively.

Here are the straight goods on what it means to have an open swinging relationship. Goddess approved! :)

1. What Is Swinging?

Swinging is an agreement between otherwise monogamous partners to have some level of sexual contact with one or more other people in a safe, mutually agreed upon environment. (thanks Wikipedia :D) Multi-partner Sex (MPS) can include anything from the simple voyeurism of watching and being watched, to Threesomes and/or Group Sex - all the way through to full-blown orgies; the choice is yours!

Swinging is distinct from ‘Polyamory’, in that swingers have no emotional or financial relationship to others outside the Primary relationship; it is just about sex and, perhaps, friendship.

There are any number of variations of some men needing to ‘control’ their wife by arranging for her to have sex with another man (latent pimp tendencies); and women whose interest, or need, is to have the opportunity to act out this type of scenario. This can extend to Cuckolding, whereby a male gains sexual gratification out of watching his partner have intercourse with other people … participation can range from simply watching, to being ‘forced’ to join in, or (in some cases) even ‘forced’ to give sexual gratification to the other male also. These motivations are becoming more common in the swinging world.

In a related motivation, occasionally an older man will drive swinging in order to allow his more sexually active younger partner to gain greater sexual satisfaction within situations he can control. This assists him in preventing her from wandering into more dangerous, secret and uncontrolled liaisons.

This list is as varied as it is long! People have many reasons to swing, but what matters most is what your (and your partner’s) motive is. You need to have a clear idea of why you are going into swinging in the first place and what rules will apply. This will assist you and your partner in deciding what is right for you in order for your relationship to survive (and hopefully develop from) the experience.

2. The Pros

The benefits of a swinging lifestyle are varied: as a method of revitalizing your sex life with your committed partner, room to expand sexual horizons, engaging safely in new relationships, even improvements to your existing relationship (provided that everybody starts off and ends on the same page in terms of their expectations and outcomes). There are many couples who claim their relationships have been saved by becoming a swinging couple and, to their credit, have deepened their own commitment to one another is the process.

3. The Cons

On the other hand, you must be careful that your relationship is in a condition that makes it ready for taking trust levels to the next level. Open relations have a way of magnifying existing conditions and problems within a relationship. If trust is at all in question, or love is not strong and real - and commitment is on shaky ground - there cannot be the openness that is needed to make swinging work out for the best. Although some might say that working through these kinds of issues (through a gentle entry into open relationships) can help to clarify what needs to be worked on, in reality the likelihood of this is very uncertain and a very risky gamble. Jealousy and possessiveness are not traits that make a relationship a good candidate for swinging. Also, weak or strained relationships typically cannot be helped by either swinging or polyamory (having more than one ‘full-blown’ relationship at a time with the complete knowledge and consent of everyone involved), and these kinds of exploits can be dangerous to any primary relationship if there is any lack of foundation. True love and honest, open communications are basic requirements in order for this kind of relationship to work out.

4. Communicate

So, for the sake of argument, let’s say you have chosen the path of the swingers: now what?

Once swinging has been experienced, there is no undoing what happens, so here are some things to keep in mind before jumping in:

Communication with your partner is vital, especially when starting out, as neither knows exactly how strongly they will react to having this new experience. Keeping each other up to speed on likes and dislikes is going to determine if they keep going with it, or stop entirely. So it is essential to be forthcoming, and encourage a partner to do the same. A great way to start is by each drawing up a separate check-list of 'Yes', 'No' and 'Not Sure' activities before your first time; compare the lists and only start with items where both say 'Yes'. Once you have settled into the lifestyle, you can re-visit these lists as often as you like to move items between the groups - or perhaps experimentally try-out mutual 'Not Sure' items.

5. Keep Emotions Under A Wrap

Keeping emotions in check is vital; jealousy is an ugly bed partner. Nothing turns off an event faster than an angry or jealous partner. Any feelings of possessiveness of your partner must be firmly in check, or agree with the group to rules that will initially protect you from the full brunt of these emotions.

6. To Conclude

Swinging is fast becoming an accepted lifestyle choice. Where in the past it was considered an extreme alternative lifestyle, it has now become so widespread that it may one day border on mainstream. Perhaps in a few more decades it may become exactly that, but at least for now it does remain on the risqué side of lifestyle choices.

Swinging definitely fits in with living a wilder lifestyle, but it may not be for everyone. Make sure you think it through first, and consider all the things mentioned in this article before you dive in. It can be a lot of fun, but it’s up to you to make sure it stays that way!

And there you have it boys and girlsssssssss, that is everything that the Goddess has to say on the subject of swinging on this glorious Saturday morning!

I really hope you liked the read! Have a fantastic weekend ahead of you, and catch you all next week!

oxoxoxoxo